The Ex-Girlfriend of my Ex-Girlfriend is my Girlfriend BOOK
MY FRIEND WROTE A BOOK!!!
Maddy’s memes were the first lesbian memes I ever saw and I immediately felt very attached to them- I had no idea that a meme could make me feel so seen! We became friends when Maddy mentioned that she was looking to meet lesbians in Chicago and I reached out with some clever note like “Hi, I’m a lesbian in Chicago!”. Soon after we discovered that she fit in perfectly at our kitchen table, sharing snacks and taking turns blushing over the goodness of being surrounded by fam. Now she has done that miraculous thing of taking a self-published zine and making it into a book and I could not be more excited or proud!
I’ll admit that when I first cracked the book open my eyes honed in on JD Samson’s name in the introduction and I immediately swooned over Kelsey Wroten’s portrait of her and read her advice and bio before anything else (I’m sorry Maddy, I‘m a dyke with a permacrush, I can’t help it!). Then I dug into Maddy’s words and cried because they are so good and kind and so familiar and I miss her at our table very much. So to mark the occasion of Maddy’s book coming out (pun very much intended) I introduced it to a few of its future shelf mates. It was very well received. Like Maddy, I came of age in an era just before the queer internet exploded and I tried very hard to learn how to be gay at the library. I would have given anything for a book like this in my hot little hands! Queer literature can be brutal: our stories are so often lonely and sad, full of societal rejection and violence. It took me a long time to find and amass a personal collection of books by fam that celebrate our lived experiences (while also acknowledging the strength it can take to get through a day). I’m beyond proud to have Maddy’s book in that collection.
Because our stories can be so hard- and this book does cover the scope of queer pain- queer (and especially lesbian) literature can sometimes get mean. Infighting and oppression within the community are frequent symptoms of our fear and exhaustion. This book stands solidly away from that, holding all fam tight as fam and responding to hurt, pain, and confusion with generosity, love and genuine kindness. Now I’m crying again, because as a lesbian I often worry that the close-mindedness of some of our community will continue to define even those of us who actively reject it, and this book gives me hope for something else! An expansive definition of lesbianism! A bigger, stronger fam! Once again, Maddy’s work has made me feel seen and I could not be more proud to say MY FRIEND WROTE A BOOK!!
Pre-order The Ex-Girlfriend of My Ex-Girlfriend is my Girlfriend on Bookstore
Het folks, worried this book isn’t for you? The NYT says: “Same-sex couples, on average, resolve conflict more constructively than different-sex couples, and with less animosity, studies have shown”. BUY THIS BOOK please, there is so much to learn from it.